Were does the time go?

 

The last few weeks have been manic with Catherine and Flo here, swapping places in the guest bedroom with Simon and Tori, or just Simon on his own as he goes up and down the country, like a whore’s drawers and in out of my house, like a fiddler’s elbow, with the result that I’ve been going round, like a blue arsed fly!

I love the English language.

 

Last Saturday saw us trying to get to a surprise 40th Birthday Party in the Cotswolds.

 

Well it was a BIG surprise to us we ever got there. For a start, never again will I try to get somewhere with the aid of directions taken from the Internet. What sort of sick pervert writes those programs for online map companies? They obviously aim to get the entire Nation lost. We could have used them as the ultimate deterrent in the event of Nazi invasion during WW2.

 

After we’d ripped those up and started asking people for directions, we thought we’d be all right. (Yes, after years of arguments, Mike now knows it is usually best to ask directions, rather than driving around aimlessly for hours)

 

Of course, I hadn’t then realised that in small Cotswold villages there are people who are really Aliens, who have taken on human form. Don’t go there. The countryside and houses are very pretty but OMG! The people are odd. If they have a fringe, beware! I think it may be hiding a third eye.

 

How can two seemingly  sensible young women live in a village ,less than a mile away and yet not be able to give us directions to Box village?

 

What on earth was wrong with the man that said “Go across the common and all that is to the left is Box, take the last turning on the right before you get to the pub, only you won’t know it’s the last turning until you have gone past it”..... Errr. ...Pardon?

 

If it were on the left, why would we want to turn right? I was starting to think we’d strayed into the set of ‘League of Gentlemen’. If anyone had asked if we were LOCAL, I would have been off like a shot.

 

We made it eventually but thought we had arrived after the ‘Birthday Boy’ as we were half an hour late; only he was another half hour later than us. They live there and they couldn’t find the place!

 

Best joke of the evening.

 

MFI are doing a new John Prescott flat pack range…..Two dodgy screws and the whole Cabinet falls apart.

 

Monday night saw us up at The Hawthorns for the West Bromwich Albion Player of the Year Dinner. As we’ve just been relegated I think that’s enough said about that.

 

The best bits of the evening for me were the food, which really was lovely and meeting former Baggies player ‘Super Bob’, Bob Taylor. It made my evening meeting him because he was such a top player. No. It had nothing at all to do with the fact he was the most attractive man I’ve been kissed by in a very long time (Mike excepted of course LOL)

 

Thursday night was a Charity Dinner at the Three Counties Showground, Malvern, it’s the annual Spring Gardening Show. Another excellent meal. (what about my diet!!!!)

 

Harper Dog is getting really senile, very quickly. He has to sleep in our bedroom now and even then he wakes us up at about 4.30am. He seems to think we should be up then and won’t be quiet until we give in and go downstairs. Then he falls asleep on the sitting room floor and we have to do the best we can with the day after about five hours sleep. I should have gone to another party tonight but after being awake so early and then several hours walking round  the Show at Malvern, I just couldn’t manage it.

 

I’ve found a new branch of my Welsh/Belgian family, which has been keeping me very busy and we all keep finding mysteries, but it’s great fun unravelling them. I can see me ending up writing a book with a possible title of, Sex in the Edwardian Era. I can’t believe what was going on!

 

One of these new relatives is called Marylou and she has given me her phone number. I've never known a Marylou before.  I  want to ring her up but I'm afraid I'll say Hello Marylou, and then carry on  singing 'Goodbye heart, sweet Marylou, I'm so in love with you'. I don't want her thinking I'm a nutter.

 

All of these activites and work have been liberally interspersed with bouts of gardening. It’s taken me at least 5 hours to weed the Herb Garden alone, which was compacted clay and full of bindweed, I broke one hand fork, the ground was so hard.

 

I am recording in photographs how the garden is developing over the weeks, the ones up top were taken on Wednesday, so things have got a bit further now. I have loads of plants bought at the Show to plant, I’m hoping this heavy, thundery, rain will soon stop, so I can get some in tomorrow. 

 

Only just over 4 weeks now until the baby is due!!!! 

 

Linda

 

PS I've just looked back to the photos in my entry for 23rd April, I can't believe the difference in such a short time.