Catching Up and Finding I have Tourette's!

The New Year started off well enough but quickly took a down turn.

I woke up last Saturday to find that overnight I had started an ear and sinus infection. This now seems to have grown into a whole head infection and I have virtually lost the hearing in my left ear.

Monday morning saw me at the GP Surgery. As, in their infinite wisdom, Saturday Emergency Surgery has been stopped, Monday's Duty Surgery was a sight to behold.

You have to go at 10.30 and take a number and wait. At 10.30 the morning appointments hadn't  finished, so those people were still clogging up the waiting room and there were 60 people for the Duty GP's. I honestly thought I must now be living in a Third World Country. There wasn't enough room to accomodate everyone, so a number had to stand out in the garden.

As I had arrived at 10.15 I had managed to get a seat and a young man sat next to me. He then started to tell me about his life. He was an attractive young man, who obviously had problems. His clothes were rags and his trainers were falling to bits, with no toes.

I felt so sorry for him as his tale of physical and sexual abuse unfolded. His self harming, the bites he'd taken out of his hand were something you wanted to not look at but somehow your eyes kept being drawn there.

I was feeling dreadful before, (in fact so bad, Mike had driven me to the Surgery and when he saw the crowd he said he'd go home and do some housework and come back later with a packed lunch, that wasn't far from the truth) but two hours with this young man was more than I, in my temperature ridden, weak state should have had to endure. When I felt I could stand no more, I said I was feeling a bit dizzy and needed some fresh air. Bless him, he was so concerned he insisted on coming with me to make sure I was alright. He was such a nice lad and I gave him as much advice as I could but WHY in this day and age, in a so called civilised society, are children allowed to be dragged up in this way?

The only bright spot was his girlfriend, whom he told me was the first person in his life to show him love, turned up looking for him. She'd brought his jacket, in case he was cold and as they sat holding hands and cuddling, he looked so lit up and happy that it brought a lump to my throat and tears to my eyes

I would love to think they may find a happy future but I'm not hopeful.   

When I came out at 12.30 I was less than impressed and feeling even worse than when I had arrived. The rest of the day was spent in bed.

Wednesday started as usual with Fliss, my bathroom cat, in her usual place besides the bath. She was purring and warbling as always. By mid afternoon she had lost the ability to walk. Fliss was quite elderly, in fact probably about 15 and had been getting thinner over the last year or so. I guessed it was kidney failure, which the vet confirmed.

We could have tried blood tests and an injection, which we tried with another cat who died five years ago. It only prolonged his life by a couple of weeks and I wouldn't say they were quality time.

This time I made the decision, that to me was the kindest. To have Fliss put to sleep there and then. Another part of this decision was because she had taken, lately, to standing in the middle of the road and not moving when cars came round the bend. Luckily because of the way our road is, cars are normally going slowly and have so far managed to stop but I just didn't want to take the risks.

She was lying peacfully on the table and died, while I was stroking her, in just a few seconds.

Sorry this has got off to such a miserable start but I can't make things up, can I?

The two photos of Fliss were taken the night before she died. The close up was testing out the Macro setting on my new camera, she was sitting alongside me and I literally had the camera a couple of inches from her face, I'm quite pleased with the result. The other picture was taken minutes earlier, when she was making up her mind whose settee she wanted to sit onDaddy, or Mummy. She chose me, hence the close up.

The other picture was taken a few days ago, we went on one of our 'Unsuitable for Heavy Vehicles' trips. This is when we go to a chosen place but not on the main roads, not even the B roads but those little white ones that have no name or number on the map.

We went to Tenbury Wells for tea and toasted teacakes. On the way there we stopped at the 12thC church of Rochford and met some friendly sheep just outside the churchyard, who seemed to want their photo taken, so I obliged. There is a grave in this churchyard for a Fanny Adams, which made us laugh. Couldn't help wondering whether she had been sweet or not. This particular route will be wonderful in about a month as most of the lanes are full of wild snowdrops.

I must be getting better because today I had the energy to have an attack of Tourette's. I'm sure I am un undiagnosed sufferer. My language is appalling when I get really stressed, or as happened today, something really annoys me.

In fact I was so concerned about this mornings attack I looked up the syptoms on the web and I think I am a mild sufferer, which explains a lot about the way things have gone in my life.

What started this morning's attack? Well I'll tell you....Gordon Effing Brown!

I was listening, quite happily to the news, in bed with my  cup of coffee, when the newsreader told me that Gordon Brown is suggesting that we drop Remembrance Day and have a British Day instead. Well he can jolly well contend with me first because as far as I'm concerned he can stick his effing British Day up his effing @!s*. How dare he? If he wants a British Day put it on another date and make it a Bank Holiday and we can all do something special, apart from all the people who still have to work bank holidays of course. Just leave Remembrance Day alone, that day is to remember the sacrfice made by so many and not to be cheapened by some political publicity stunt.

Oh well! There we go, what a bright happy start to my Journal for this year. I can only hope life and myinfected head improve and I shall try to think positively, after all I have a wedding and grandchild to look forward. Things can only get better...can't they?

PS Later news suggests Gordon Brown meant a different day, so hopefully the first report was incorrrect.

AND

I forgot.

HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all and thanks for the kind wishes I have already received today. XXX