About Me

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Worcester, Worcestershire, United Kingdom
Born in the year of the Coronation, I'm a Baby Boomer. In April of this year I decided I too would have a Diamond Jubilee celebration and completely change my life and that of my Husband's in the process

Saturday, 9 September 2006

Body Parts and Holes in the Road!

It was back to school this week and after three days I'm still quite happy, so that's good. There are some really nice children in my class, I know this time last year I was ready to strangle a couple of them, so I'm fairly confident we have a better behaved bunch. Hopefully no condom modelling in the toilets!

 

At home it's been very annoying. The National Grid are replacing our gas mains. Now call me stupid but I thought the National Grid did the pylons that carried our Electricity........This could explain why they are making such a pig's ear of it.

 

I've had a large hole in the pavement outside my house for more than a week. This means some of the flowers in my garden have been flattened. I'm not too happy about that.

 

The men come for an hour or two and then they go away again. They say they are working on another job. Why? Wouldn't it be better to complete one job at a time, the work wasn't that urgent.

 

Then they dug a big hole at the top of my drive, about four feet deep, they have put two yellow plates over most of it but some of it is not covered. They assured me it was safe to drive over. I can assure you it isn't. Mike tried yesterday and the resulting cracking noise brought two of the  neighbours running out of their houses. His car is staying on the road now, I'm just thankful he's not been blown to smithereens because if the car had gone in there, onto the exposed gas pipe, I don't think the scenario would have been too good.

 

This afternoon I spent an hour in Marks and Spencers trying to find ‘the right bra’. This always drives me crazy, as finding what I like and have it fit is never easy. I’ve reached an age when I know what I like; it has to conform to certain criteria.

 

First of all, I want the sheepdog effect….. you know, rounds them up and points them  in the right direction, so it has to be underwired. When I was younger and was a pert 34B I often didn’t bother wearing a bra and I most certainly looked better than Charlie Dymock, who put me off gardening shows forever.

 

After years of weight gain, followed by some weight loss, I seem to be stuck at a 36DD. My once pert boobs are now in need of support. But… there is a very important feature I now require in a bra. First of all I don’t want seams, as they spoil the look under tee shirts etc but what it really, really must have is light padding. I am a firm believer now that when you have reached the age of a matronly bosom, what you don’t want, on cold mornings, is for your chapel hat pegs to be standing to attention and visible to all.

 

I watched a TV programme a couple of weeks ago, it was about a local couple who wanted to move house but couldn’t find what they wanted. An irritating pair of presenters went round local estate agents to try and find the house of their dreams and then showed the couple what they had come up with. The woman, who was older than me did the whole programme looking like she had a couple of marbles in her bra, WHY didn’t someone tell her to change her top?

 

Anyway, I couldn’t find what I wanted in my size, so tried squeezing myself into some 36D’s. I looked like a badly poured pint of beer, instead of fitting in the glass with the head just coming nicely to the top, I was flowing everywhere, you wouldn’t think an extra D would make such a difference. Hardly any of their range was in a DD cup and those I had seen were unlined.

 

When I handed the bras back to one of the assistants I told her of my dilemma, her colleague said, what about that new range that came in this morning they do DD right up to GG. (I think we’re talking Jordan implants here) So off she went and returned with the bra I was looking for and I am sitting here now typing, with my boobs sitting nicely just below my chin and nota chapel hat peg in sight.

 

I remember my mother once asking me if the bra she was wearing was alright with the top she had on, You can’t see my middles? She queried. Life was like that in our house; bodily parts were not to be mentioned, not by their anatomical name, or any sort of pet name. They were to be skirted around with vague terms, as in middle, meaning nipple and my sister and I had front bottoms and back bottoms. Thank goodness she never had a boy, I’ve no idea what she would have called that, although I have a horrible recollection that she referred to my cousin’s as a tail! You see even now I have trouble saying the P word. 

 

 Life was a nightmare when I grew up and had to start going to the doctor’s on my own, I had no vocabulary to discuss intimate matters. Oh well, I got by but I think Mum would have a fit if she knew I’d mentioned nipples on the Internet.

 

This week Mike and I went to the farm I mentioned a few weeks ago, where I found his family were farming in the 1841 Census. The present owner is a delightful man who spent two hours showing us round. He’d dug out some paperwork which gave the date Mike’s 3 x great grandfather, Richard George had taken on the tenancy, which was in 1820, for an annual rent of £140. That was a heck of a lot of money in those days. 

 

They were still there until the 1851 Census but by 1861 Richard was retired and was living with his son William who was just an Agricultural Labourer. I don’t know why William didn’t take over the tenancy; it may be they were finding it difficult to make enough to pay the rent.

 

We had a lovely time there and the view from one of the fields must be just as it was when Richard George walked across those fields. Mike felt quite emotional and I felt a little envious, as all my family farms, even my bizarrely named Ramrod Hall, were demolished long ago.

 

These are two of the wonderful characters we met

 Preview

 

This lovely chap is about 17 years old and is bigger than he looks. That fence top was my eye level and I'm 5 ft 7 tall. He had the biggest head I ever saw on a horse and I think he's a Belgian.

Preview

 This beauty is a Shire and they both have to have specially made shoes as they are soooo huge.

 

Below are some of the Gloucester cattle, now a very rare breed. They have distinctive white rumps and they are what the original Double Gloucester was made from (No, I'm not going back onto bra sizes!)

   

 

Preview

 

Don't be silly, the one in the foreground is the farm dog!!

 

This is the view everyone loves and we were no exception.

 

Preview

 

And finally, Mike reflecting on what might have been, if the farm had stayed in the family.

 

Preview

 

I've decided to defer my weigh in until next weekend as I know I've been very naughty this week, while I was still on holiday but I will definitely tell the truth, no matter how painful next weekend.

13 comments:

jeadie05 said...

So much to comment on here ,from the national grid to M&S where its imperative to find the right fit ,and have to keep the lids from showing as my daughter used to say ,your results of the search for who your ancestors were is so exciting ,isnt the farm house,where Mike is standing on the steps a dream ,.,.,.,Jan xx

beckiepainton said...

weve got all sorts of names for our naughty bits, mary, fudge, smee and flange for your front botton and plain old arse for the back bottom and winkle pinker and lula for the boys, me my mum and sister enjoy making up these funny names for our down belows.I think we are a bit strange!!Beckieboo.x

bobandkate said...

Hi Linda,
Your body part words crack me up. My mother is just the same. There are some bits which are totally unmentionable, and I hate the P word myself still!!! What a lovely background Mike comes from, a beautiful area and he is luck to be able to visit his roots. Hope the gaping holes are filled in soon (I mean the ones made by the gas workers!!!).
Kate.
http://journals.aol.co.uk/bobandkate/AnAnalysisofLife/

jckfrstross said...

what great pictures:) i know its hard to find a bra that doesn't kill you at the end of the day glad you found some:) enjoy your weekend

Deb

wldconnie said...

I am sorry to rub it in while you are back at school! Your turn will come! I had to laugh about the bra! I am 42DD even worse!! I have enormous trouble ever finding an underwired bra in my size even M&S! I know what you mean about the nipples standing to attention. I hate it too!! Love Conniexx

sylviam4000 said...

This was a very enjoyable entry and the pics are lovely.
Sylvia
Ye Olde English Posy

debbiewebb4465 said...

Linda I was cracking up at your bra story!!!!!!! I LOVE your sense of humour!!! Chapel hat pegs LOLOLO ~ I have to have lightly padded (I work in a greasy spoon, so you see my point lol) and NO seams, but I'm much smaller than you!!! An hysterical entry!!! And, no I wouldn't have driven over that great big hole either! The farm, and pictures, are indeed lovely :-) Hope school stays good for you and you don't get any condom modelling brats!!!! Take care mate :-)
hugs n love Debbie ~xxxxxxxx~
http://journals.aol.co.uk/debbiewebb4465/TheLifeTimesofanEssexGirl

beckiepainton said...

thats not a hole its a crater, check for alien life!!Beckie.

demandnlilchit said...

I am sooo glad you found my journalbut I am happier that you left a link back to yours! I love the photos and your wit in writing! I spent over 2 years on your side of the pond when my Father was stationed with the Air Force. I was only a baby and I wish I had some memories, but I don't. We moved back to the states befoe my 3rd birthday. I too have added you to my alerts and look forward to reading more about you!

Kimberleigh

demandnlilchit said...

Chapel Hat Pegs! Too Funny! We call them "headlights" over here.....on cold days we say "Your headlights are on" lol

chunkichick said...

The horses remind me of my holiday, I will be writing an entry about those soon! and what a giggle on the titty front! I need scaffolding for mine!
I'm enjoying the read
chunki x

midwestvintage said...

  Love the pictures of those big old horses and enjoyed the entry.

              Julie

tc01hm said...

Wonderful big guys. Lots of love to hold on to LOL! I always loved the feathering!
Tess